The Power of Regret Summary Video

Why The Power of Regret?

I chose to summarize The Power of Regret for our second instalment of the BookBoards video series. (Make sure to check out our Atomic Habits summary video, the first in the series)

Here’s why I decided that our second installment should be on The Power of Regret.

Firstly, I love the way Daniel H. Pink weaves together interesting research with memorable anecdotes to make his arguments. Not only does that make his books both informative and entertaining… It also makes them great candidates for whiteboard animation.

And here’s what I loved about this topic, in particular:

• Regret is often such a toxic emotion. I was keen to explore how it could be turned into a force for good.
• I loved the chutzpah of a book that challenges such widely accepted beliefs.
• I thoroughly enjoyed The Power of Regret. The ideas I took away from the book will stay with me for a long time.

I hope you’ll enjoy our summary video.

Summary of The Power of Regret by Dan Pink

Regrets can feel toxic and unconstructive. And so we swear them off at every chance we get. Here are just a few public figures and celebrities who have said (or sung) they don’t believe in regrets

But we shouldn’t denounce regret. Regret is human and can be a force for good. According to the American Regret Project, 82% of adults said they at least occasionally look back on their life and wish they’d done things differently. 

That means that Americans are far more likely to experience regret than they are to floss their teeth! 

What We Regret

On the surface, patterns weren’t dramatic. Regrets span a wide range of domains of life. 

But beneath the surface, we have four core regrets.

1. Foundation regrets
2. Boldness regrets
3. Moral regrets
4. Connection regrets

Foundation Regrets

Foundation regrets happen when we make a choice that’s easier in the short term but that compromises our basic level of stability in the longer term… 

Like developing bad health habits when we’re young, or not saving money for the future. Foundation regrets sound like this: “If only I’d done the work”.

Boldness Regrets

Boldness regrets happen when we don’t seize an opportunity for growth. When we feel we’ve played it too safe or “settled”. 

Common boldness regrets include not starting a business or not pursuing a romantic interest. 

Boldness regrets sound like this: “If only I’d taken that risk”.

Moral Regrets

We fundamentally want to be good. And so moral regrets can happen when we make a choice that our conscience says is wrong. 

Common examples of moral regrets? bullying or cheating on a spouse. Moral regrets sound like: “If only I’d done the right thing.”

Connection Regrets

Connection regrets happen when we neglect the people we love–when those relationships have come undone as a result of a rift or from just drifting apart. Connection regrets sound like this: “If only I’d reached out.”

Why Regrets Matter

Our four core regrets tell us what we need, in order to lead a fulfilling life:

• Stability
• Growth
• Goodness 
• Love

And regrets can also help us meet those needs, by helping us 

• Make better decisions, 
• Improve our performance, 
• And develop a deeper sense of meaning and connection

How? By transforming existing regrets and anticipating future ones. 

How to Transform Existing Regrets

If you regret an action you’ve taken, you can:

• Try to undo it by apologizing, making amends, and looking for ways to repair the damage.
• Look for a silver lining: figure out how the situation could have been worse, turning the regret into relief.

And whether you regret something you’ve done OR not done, you can convert today’s regrets into fuel for progress tomorrow in three steps:

1. Start with self-disclosure: reliving and relieving the regret. Talk to others about the regret or write it down to clear the air and reduce its burden.
2. Use self-compassion to normalize and neutralize the regret. Try treating yourself the way you’d treat a friend –with kindness, warmth and understanding. 
3. Use self-distancing to objectively analyze and strategize about the lessons you’ve learned. For example, you can project yourself into the future and imagine yourself looking back with pride at how you grew from the regret.

Anticipate Future Regrets

And here’s another way to improve your future: When you’re making a decision, anticipate the regrets you might feel. That will slow your thinking and give you time to get more information and make the right call.

The downside?  Anticipating regret can paralyze you into not making a decision at all or lead you to just follow your gut.

Instead, if your decision touches on the big four regrets, project yourself into the future and ask yourself which choice will help you, build your foundation, take a reasonable risk, do the right thing, and maintain a meaningful connection. 

Otherwise, don’t second guess yourself. Make a call and move on.

From Regret to Redemption

Remember that regret is the ultimate redemption story–as powerful and affirming as any positive emotion, even though it presents itself in disguise. 

Why You Should Still Read the Book

There is so much more to this book than we could ever cover in this short video, including:

•  How to boost your career by writing a failure resume
• Why bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists
• Where men’s regrets and women’s regrets diverge

Read it for yourself, so that you can turn regrets into a force for good, and live a more fulfilling life. 

Over To You

I’d love to hear your take on regret. Has this video changed your mind about regret? Let me know in the comments below, or on YouTube! And if you enjoyed this video, please be sure to check out more of the whiteboard animation examples in our portfolio